That’s It, That’s All. Those were Nicky’s favourite words, spoken from her father, Martin Stockley. It was kind of like the family motto. Martin was a tough guy, on the outside. On the inside this man taught me more about love and respect because he lived by example. There were tough times for us, that never stopped Martin from reaching into his pocket to send us his last couple of bucks. Whether we wanted him to or not. If I can’t help take care of my own daughter he would say.
Nicky, was exactly the same way. Her giving, like that of Martin’s, was not about money though, it was something far greater and I do believe the world needs more of it.
Unconditional love. Nicky lived by example, from her heart. She was genuine about it, she really did have the special strength inside her to only show compassion and courtesy. Even when the world around her continued to take. Despite the heartache, she kept on giving, even through the tears sometimes.
This is so harsh to say, I feel like sometimes I am in a movie that is all about realizing your purpose, having to learn the lessons before you can continue with life. Yes, just like Scrooge. IT may not make sense to everybody out there, however we all have to experience our own strengths and find our own purpose. Some people go through life, never experiencing it. You have to be open to growing. You have to be willing to give.
I feel like sometimes I took Nicky for granted, in fact I know I did. Not all the time. In relationships, I believe we do tend to take each other for granted. Honestly, if there is no true love connecting the people together, the relationship will not last. I don’t think it’s possible, you have to be happy.
We were together for 18 years because, despite taking each other for granted sometimes, we always found a way to grow and get passed it. I can never deny though, Nicky always said,
I Love You More!
And that she did. No matter how angry I made her, no matter how big or small a fight might be, she could not stop thinking about me and being considerate.
In return, I tried to give Nicky everything she ever wanted. Not money, Not material things. Life experiences. Our house. You might say, that is material and that is about money. I have to tell you that you don’t understand then.
From the moment I met Nicky she made me smile. Her love towards me and towards the world inspired me. She wanted to have things yes, but not because she was greedy. Nicky wanted to feel alive and be happy. That was her only purpose, and through her happines she wanted anybody around her to be happy, too.
I would buy Nicky flowers all the time, especially when I was in the Dog House, cause sometimes, I was a jerk.
I promise though, there were more times when I know she just needed to smile, cause the takers in life were just doing the taking. And sometimes when she felt like she didn’t have anymore to give, I knew I had to step it up and let her feel that same unconditional love she so unselfishly showed all the time.
Every now and then, I got to make the world stop, and watch the faces of people in the crowd, see the flowers. Give her the attention of her co-workers and just interrupt the flow a little, make that spotlight aim, just on her. I got no better satisfaction then to answer, just because when people would ask what the occasion was.
I know love is the answer. I know we all need to remind ourselves to stop, and be grateful sometimes.
Even in passing, at peace because she was pure of heart, Nicky was gracious and continued to show compassion and strength for others.
Nicky only knew how to give, she just didn’t know how to take.
It is my turn now. To give, and give even more.
I am still here, and had I not been with this incredible, powerful woman, I would not be blessed with the gift of finding my soulmate and receiving unconditional love, until death do us part.
Thinking Good Thoughts.
Love is The Answer. Just Love, No Bullshit.