Always Grateful

Filling The Void With Gratitude

For lack of better words the only explanation that I have for missing a few weeks of writing something would be writers block. I am confused and there are often times that I still feel lost. It can be a bit of a skipping record I guess, the high and lows, repeatedly talking about them. I find filling the void with gratitude seems to work for me, at least it is definitely helping.


Part of the reason for the block if you will, is the usual lack of answers. When I go to write something, I do believe that my opinions or ideas suggestions are right, or correct, or will benefit you in some way. I guess it’s because I am a man and because I do want to help, that want to help is genuine. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.

The answers that I am talking about are for some rough statements I hear from time to time.

“How do you do it?”, or “I can’t imagine!”

Quite simply, you do it the same way that you do absolutely everything else in life, it just happens. You keep breathing, nothing else stops. The world continue to turn.

You don’t want to imagine, it is not something anybody ever aspires to in most cases. And although we may say mean things in anger, nobody really wants anything bad to happen to the family.


I don’t want to say anything that would seemingly lighten the fact that I lost my wife, however, it is a challenge that I have had to overcome in the same way that other people face challenges that have drastic impacts on there own lives.


You never think about them because we don’t get up every day and think about a bunch of bad things happening. If you do get up every day and just think of a bunch bad things happening, I would kindly suggest you try doing that differently. This is where the strength comes from, the very strength that is within all of us. Every single one of us has the power to overcome the things that happen to us.


When I talk about the different ways to love yourself, being grateful is on the top of the list. I am starting to understand why. I think you will always here a grateful person say something like,

” Well, It could of been worse, I am just thankful for this and this.”

For whatever the situation may be. Nicky would be just like that. Now sometimes the shoes is on the other foot and Nicky would day dream a little. Saying that she wished she had this or that, but we are allowed a little bit of self-indulgence in life. Where would we be without, it soothes us.

Positive Energy

I am trying to live in the now. Think Good Thoughts. I believe Nicky was living in the now. I don’t think she would care about the relation that I am making to how to live everyday life, but she was the shining example.

Even while being diagnosed and going through the physical changes, her demeanor did not change. There was no dip in her genuine approach to living her life. Creating a positive energy for the people around her.

The void will never go away for me, no different then the void or challenge in other people’s lives will go away. I don’t quite understand the saying, time heals all wounds. I don’t know if this is something that ever heals.

Living in the now and thinking good thoughts is for lack of better words a science. Based on laws of the universe and I think that is why I find comfort and put faith in the notions.

You can’t feel bad, or angry, or sad when you are thinking good thoughts. It’s not even possible.

Yes it is easier said then done, tell me something in life that isn’t.

There is comfort though in learning how to let the void just sit there in my head and be there. Like so many other different things that I have thoughts about, but will never actually figure out. Mysteries of the mind, as Jim Rohn calls them.

I am starting to understand this, and take comfort in it. This is what made Nicky happy. And it makes me happy to think about it, instead of dwelling on the void.

Because we just keep breathing, our lives just keep going, letting the void sit is the way forward. The void can be whatever challenge you have in your life. Whatever situation that is holding you back, emotionally.

The Future

Getting lost in the memory of Nicky has been holding me back for the last little while, over the holidays. There is a little bit of everything hitting me at different times. The denial, remorse, anger and frustration.

It is for me a cycle, and sometimes when it is bringing me down the most, I don’t want to try and make it feel better. I want to pretend for a little while that I can deny it all enough to bring her back and make it not real anymore.

This is where I do have to turn on the Thinking Good Thoughts, living in the now. It pulls me right into the present. It also alleviates all of the stress and anxieties that I have. It doesn’t make them go away or solve anything instantly, however remember, it’s a law. You can’t be stressed and happy at the same time! Impossible to feel both emotions.

Easier said then done depending on where or what, but stopping and just taking a breath to pull yourself into the present can clear your mind enough to take away the fog and help you think clearly.

When I find myself spinning in that void of missing NIcky, I try to instantly think of her smiing and telling me to Think Good Thoughts. I begin remembering what I cannot change and suddenly the gratitude kicks in…and then I suddenly want to do better again.

The Present!

Here we are. Good health, looking for a reason to remember the positive in life. We all have different challenges and see life differently. I want to be able to move forward and it means taking all of my own advice, all of Nicky’s advice.

Pretending I can change anything is being naive. I am human and there are certain things, scientifically I have to accept on how the brain works and what grief and mourning does to a person. The same way I believe positive thinking is the answer. It leads to love.

So try and fill your void, your challenge with gratitude. Remembering the positive of your situation no matter how bleak it may seem. Thinking Good Thoughts, knowing love is the answer will help you through.

What’s the worst that can happen? You feel better 😉

Sincere Thanks for Reading. Comments are not just welcomed, they are encouraged!

Thinking Good Thoughts in 2018

Up until now, I think there has been a hint of sadness written with the posts for

Moving forward we want to emphasize the words to heart, Thinking Good Thoughts for 2018. And beyond.

There is absolutely no doubt that losing my spouse was forever life changing. I am a widower and it is not something that I thought I would be able to relate to somebody with.

Nicky and Jared

Losing any loved one is challenging and heart breaking. The stress and the anxieties that come along when facing the battle of a disease or an accident that wasn’t your fault. A diagnosis that doesn’t seem fair, or plain and simple just doesn’t make any sense.

Overcoming these obstacles can be overwhelming at times to say the least. There seems to be a lot of disappointment out there in the world. You feel like your fighting the good fight when the rest of the world seems hell-bent on destruction.

Sometimes it even feels like your own friends and family are against you.

The unfortunate thing is there is always going to be all of that distraction. There is always going to be some corruption out there, some bad that contributes to the chaos that we all call life.

We don’t change it by thinking about it or worrying about it, we change ourselves by Thinking Good Thoughts.


It’s not crazy and it’s not impossible so that’s what we are going to do! Love is the answer, and giving and always thinking good thoughts is how you create your love for the world.

I had no idea how pure Nicky’s words were, nor how powerful.

The time to be sad is over. The time to be thinking good thoughts, is now. This is how you will change, your world, from within. Changing the outer world for you, from within yourself.

Let’s think about it the ways Nicky did. I think it will be fun. For you close friends, you can keep me honest here and make sure you chime in on how we would roll with this stuff.


This means so many things doesn’t it? Good Fortune and wealth? Mix in a little bit of your own good health and happiness.

Then you have the money part about it right. The reality of paying the bills.

Nicky and I were grateful for all the things we had together. We worked hard at our jobs and we accepted the good and bad of our decisions. They were not trade-offs to us. They were agreements that made us happy. This made us prosperous.

Nicky would say, I come by money with ease and I always pay my bills. No, we didn’t save our money like we are always supposed to, but we didn’t look for any handouts either.

For 2018, be proud of the choices you make and live your life by those choices. Do your best at work, whether you are there for the rest of your life or its just a stepping stone for something greater, do it better than anybody else there right now.

Be Prosperous.

Your Health

Listen to your body, and take care of yourself.

There really is not another way of putting it. There is nothing easy about it. There is definitely nothing fair about it sometimes, but you have to take care of your body, your mind, and your soul.

I am still learning, and again I will go with the wise words of Nicky about taking caring of one’s self.

If I need to sleep, I sleep, If I know something is not good for me, than I don’t want to try it. I also know the difference between what I like, and what I don’t like. And that, is up to me!

Having Cancer didn’t change anything about how Nicky lived her life and took care of herself, even in light of being diagnosed. She listened to her body at all times, she listened to the doctors and she did her best to cover all the bases.

There are things you can do, to start changes for your health. Maybe this article strikes something in you that helps you change just one thing. Start somewhere. An apple a day. A walk. I have been going to the gym myself. One change can lead to another.

Nicky had been changing her life for a few years before her cancer. She had been following a doctor mandated diet and lifestyle regiment for herself. It was difficult but she believed in her goals and made them come true.

Be Healthy, and Be Prosperous.

Love is the Answer

When you are grateful for all you have, and you listen to your inner self, you live your life by decision and acceptance. Then you are living your life with love.

I am not trying to be an authority on it, I am still trying to understand it the best that I can too. This is my own way of understanding it, and the wisdom, the power within the word. If this is what Nicky understood or meant, when I feel this myself when I really think good thoughts.

Some term it as living in the now. I don’t know if Nicky would even realize this is what it is all about. Thinking good thoughts, only good thoughts, when ever and where ever you are.

These thoughts ultimately culminate in the creation of love. They are good thoughts. They are manifested and believed upon, they are no more than the goals we all accomplish, every day.

Live your life with these goals. Just as you do your best at work and your best to take care of yourself, share your goals with the world around you. Inspire people and set an example. Do it because you want to fulfill that feeling inside that guides you pay it forward in life. Do it because it will help people. And those people will help other people.

Be True

If you are being true to yourself, and keeping it real, than the rest really does fall into place for you. It has too. It is that unexplainable part of life. Things don’t just happen, Things Happen Just. That is all we have to remember. Things are going to happen one way or the other. Might as well listen to your inner self a little, make the decisions that make the most sense to you and your family and go for it!

Thinking Good Thoughts for 2018.

Those were Nicky’s wishes and they are so simple, and can do such much good.

What are your good thoughts for the coming year? Share them with us!