Category Archives: News

The Happy Advantage Makes you Happier!

Ok, now it's scientific so nobody can argue! This is a presentation from a very smart, very happy guy. I mean I think looks  pretty happy and he really does sound like he is having a great time.

Be Happy
He is Doing what he loves for sure. You can see the smile on his face. What is really important though is the super huge message that is attached here. The happy secret to better work and how the brain and body actually work together.

Nothing New
Honestly these are not really secrets but I think we all need to be reminded of them from time to time. And yes, who I am kidding when I say that if you want to accomplish anything in life then you have to set forth in your goals.
Achieving Those Goals
That again is where everything can kick in and away you go…or you just keep crashing and burning. You enjoy success in life, just as he mentions but it's not always the way you want it to be and it can be so short lived if your dreams aren't being realized along the way.
Step by Step
Life is about steps. Guides, rules, theories…disciplines if you will. Not all happy sounding words but if you think about it, really they are the foundations of finding your way to being happy. Well, applying them I guess is really the way to being happy.
I am Thankful
Towards the end, when he mentions all the reasons, the statistics for increased production and sales, is pretty interesting stuff. I can go on and on, cause I'm obviously hyped about the whole thing, I just want to say, These particular ideas, I am taking to heart.
This site is here to keep the Spirit of my wife Nicky alive. She was a very happy person. She always supported me no matter how stressed out I got along the way thinking I would be happy when I was already successful.
In fact, just being with her made me richer then I would ever know. There is strength in Sharing.
Think Good Thoughts!

Finding Your Power Within

It has been close to a month since I have published a post here.  There are so many different mixed emotions when trying to continue.  Associating the grief I experience as well as all of the joy.

I think as human beings we often forget that we are meant to feel pain and grief.  It is a comfort of sorts to be able to comprehend this. And like everything else in life, easier said then done. Being in mourning, sometimes I even feel selfish in being sad or feeling guilty.

I experience every kind of emotion you can imagine.  Sometimes I just scream at the top of my lungs just to try and exorcise the demons within. Those demons are the feelings of no control and despair.  I feel like if I don’t release all of it, it will poison me.

There are so many different thoughts that enters your head.  I myself have recycled guilt and remorse along with wonder and joy.

Losing a family member to cancer is just so outside of the box for a life experience.

There are very strong people out there. My wife Nicky was one of them.  She inspired me with everything I do and made me a better man.  In my life the hardest things I have ever had to do is just say no.  She made me want to work hard for the important things in life, like our house, and our trips. Nicky did not know how to do a job half assed.  Her determination and her perserverance through everything challenge she had, made me want to give her everything I could.

Starting this website has been an enlightening experience for me and I feel lazy and selfish is some ways…

I just don’t know what I am supposed to write about sometimes. I feel like the grief takes over.  Sometimes I don’t want admit that it has happened. I still shake my head and actually review how it all happened.

No man is an island. I am learning this.  I have to remember that that is why I am here and for whatever reason started all of this.  Nicky was proud of me, and she was proud of us and all of our accomplishments.

Her support for me was undaunted. She never ever waivered.  So now, I must remember all of the important things that have carried me forward from this point.

That there are others that have it worse.  Love is the answer.  Despite my mourning for my wife, I am still growing and her influence in my life is as strong as ever.

I am here to prove something to her, and to myself.  I have always wanted to help people in life.  This is the worst thing to be able to relate to with another human being, but I can.

So let’s get back to living life as best we can. I am going to continue Nicky’s story. Her likes and loves and all the little things she would do to make this a better world.

Think Good Thoughts!

Thanks for reading.

The Answer is Always Love

It is still just one word that means so many different things to different people. Talking about it scares some people away for whatever reason.  I believe that anybody with an open mind is willing to look at any discussion for perspective.  Because love means so many different things, it can effect people in different ways too. That is why love is always the answer.

Stop and think about what love is all about.  I don’t mean fish love either.  You can love your phone, your car, your clothes.  You can love eating fish too. That is to say you are going to fry it up and eat it, you love it so much.  Love is not just about the way a material item makes you feel or preferences for your favourite foods.  Love is giving.

Love is, you could say…

Giving
Consideration
Kindness
Loyalty
Honesty
Compassion
Courtesy
Respect
Forgiveness
HeartAche
Painful
Sad
Inspiring

That is just a few, in no particular order.  The good and the bad.  Love, the good and the bad is a trade off.

My wife has reminded me again that life is all about love.  Your time and your energy and what you give.  Even how you live life out from day to day. It might be thought the you can’t live life being happy all the time. I myself have wondered how you find the good and the bad in everything, I talk about it every post.

The answer is inside itself.  Within love itself, when you live by it, when you give and show your loved one respect, kindness and consideration.  Those might be in some order because they are the basics. The fundementals that lead to forming a healthy relationship. All of things things will lead you into experiencing what love has to offer…including the sad.  That is the sacrifice and sometimes it can hurt, a lot.

I can tell you Nicky has never shown me anything but unconditional love, accepting me for who I am, faults and all.  My wife is pretty tough but you have to really upset her to see that side.  She gives of herself to the world. Her time is valuable and she lives an example of enjoying life, extending kindness.

Extending kindness to the world at all times is something I find difficult.  Some would call it impatience. Whatever it is sometimes I forget that everybody is struggling with something.  It is the very balance of good and bad I struggle with.  It is my wife Nicky who has always made it clear to me. How she has handled this disease and still continues to give is beyond me.

Thanks Hun, for being the rock and showing more love again. I guess some of this is an awakening for me. The way to explain how I feel is maybe this.

I met Nicky on a blind date. We talked on the phone a little bit before agreeing to meet up. True story. The moment I looked at her I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her.

Yes she was beautiful, I could feel her presence and her spirit.  She was alive and she was herself.

If you were to turn to me and say, but what if this were to happen…

It wouldn’t have mattered. That feeling would overrule you.  It is worth the trade off to imagine great things rather then anticipate challenges. That feeling I have being with Nicky overrules everything.

I call that feeling love. When you know that the person you are with gives you that feeling that ummm, no matter what is going to happen while I am here on earth, I want it to happen with you. You don’t worry about getting hit by a bus or dying in a plane crash.  You live everyday ready to have an adventure! If there is bad news, you deal with the bad news together, with love. It can bring us together and divide us sometimes but that is how you experience it, all of it.

Love is always the answer. It represents how we treat each other every day. In one form or another giving love is how we survive.

These hospitals days have been a little rough. We have both learned some things though, I have been reminded of my patience.  And how it is all about being with Nicky, which is all about the love.

Thanks for Reading.

How a Person Beats cancer

We all know it is possible as there are survivors of the disease that are proof you can overcome.  The battle is a long fought one.  It will wear on the person and their loved ones in ways that are incomprehendible until you actually experience them.

So what is the good fight?  How do you face each day hoping for the pain to let up.  How do you watch your loved ones quality of life deteriorate in front of you and still be strong and supportive?

You remember that your battle is half of what theirs is actually living with it inside their body waging war.  You remember as I have repeatedly time and time again, somebody has it worse no matter how overwhelming that can be in accepting your own emotions.

You do this because the world is not going to stop spinning. The disease is not going to just stop one day because you or your loved one did not deserve it to happen to you.  You understand quickly that nothing matters to the disease.

How old you are, male or female, good person or bad. Doesn’t matter.  Fair or not. Period.  Dealing with the fact that this particular disease has no known cure yet.  Despite what you may read on social networks or even your daily news.

You beat cancer by doing exactly what my beautiful wife is doing.  You live each day with the pain and whenever the chance arises to live life a little more, you take it!   You look for the moments for smiles and you push all the feeling s of being robbed in life aside.

You take the medicines from the doctors.

Find ways to appreciate your friends and family who try to support you, not really ever knowing what to say.

Otherwise, you go down in defeat.  No matter how mean or cold I am for saying that.  Nicky could choose to give up. Let self pity take over and not fight at all. And when I sound cold, I am selfish in the fact that I am not the one dealing with the pain, emotionally or physically of the disease inside me.

I do know that I love my wife for the fact that she has always been a fighter.  Never afraid to speak her mind and stand up for her own family and friends when it is the right cause.

I feel the need to share this with the world, even to relate to one person.  To show my wife that I love her and will be with her every step of this battle.  That is what I signed up for the day I said I love you and want to be with you together.

We have always taken care of each other, not about money and the real world but as best friends,  soul mates ready to take on the world together one way or the other.

She is the hero, the inspiration because she leads the fight for us every day. I am in awe and will be my whole life of the strength and beauty she has within.

That is how you beat cancer, I think. Thanks for reading.

10 thoughts about Cancers, and the reasons behind them

History is the bane of most modern theories, but does that mean history is always right? In a lot of things today, there are certain misconceptions that have been allowed to stand the course of time. Even though most of them has not been disproved by science, that doesn’t do much to stop people from still believing in such.

One of such things that enjoys too much of myths and misconceptions right now is the concept of cancer. Having lived with a lovely person who not only braved, but conquered cancer, I have been able to see things in new light.

Today, we are going to be debunking some of those rumors you might have heard and believed about cancer. Even if they are things you’ve seated deep into your hearts (or even told other people), this is your chance to take an eraser to such thoughts. Without much ado:

All Cancers Will Kill You

Cancer is a destructive growth of cells in the body, and it is expected that this leads to death. However, the improvements in cancer research and technology has meant that we have seen lesser and lesser deaths from this menace in the past century.

Science has reached a place where, according to statistics from the USA, the 5-year survival rate for some cases (breast, thyroids, etc.) have climbed up to an amazing 90 percent. With a 9 out of 10 chance of survival on some of the most common cancer problems, I say not all cancers are death sentences.

Eating Sugar Makes My Cancer Worse

Maybe you have read, or been told of, a medical research which justifies that cancerous cells use more sugar (glucose) in the body than every other cell, and thus, came to such a conclusion.

There is good news for you, yet. There has been no study to support that eating more and more of sugar would make your cancer worse. Likewise, there has been no study to make you think eating less of sugar would make your cancer disappear into oblivion.

While a diet high in sugar can lead to other health concerns, it sure doesn’t have anything to do with your cancer.

Cancer is Contagious

When I hear this one, I usually pause to think “Are we still talking about cancer or the common cold?” Cancer is not a disease that can easily be passed from one person to the other.

Unlike most contagious diseases, cancer operates at the cellular level. From there, I don’t see any way it should interact with the body fluids, or be present externally so much that it can easily be spread to other people. The only medically proven case where cancer can be considered ‘contagious’ is if there is an organ-transplant from a donor (who has history of cancer) to a fresh host. Even at that, the probability of risk stands at 2 out of every 10,000 transplants

Cell Phones are a Prime Cause of Cancer

If we are to go by the numerous broadcast messages we get, then this would be true. However, if we would take the word of some of the best medical researchers in the world for it, this is extremely not true.

What makes cancer happen are the mutations in genes. Your phone can just transmit a kind of energy with low frequency, definitely not strong enough to damage any of your cells.

Deodorants Can Cause Cancer

I suppose that if someone would make a list of all the wrong things people think cause cancer, there would be no more fun left on this earth. Deodorants and antiperspirants have been the subject of bashing from some people who believe these chemicals have a hand in cancer.

Well, not according to some studies which shows that none of these chemicals have the tendency to contribute to changes in cell structure and arrangement.

A Tumor is A Cancer

This is the same thing as saying every superhero is Superman. Is that true? Definitely not, and so is this misconception. The word ‘tumor’ is used to refer to any abnormal growth in any part of the body, which could either be internally or externally.

These tumors can then be classified as either benign or malignant. While the former is usually no trouble (but could become malignant if not properly taken care of), the latter type of tumor is the only one with a risk of cancer attached to it.

I Can Inherit Cancer

There is no one answer to this myth, but one answer does take credence over the other. Unlike some other diseases (HIV/AIDS, etc.), there is a very little chance that one would inherit a disease such as cancer.

In fact, less than 10% of all the cases of cancer have been from people who inherited it from someone in the family. While 10% might look like much, it really does pale in comparison when you look at the number of cases recorded yearly.

Cancers are One and The Same

Personally, I don’t blame people for this kind of misconceptions. All of those cancer awareness programs are usually focused on ‘how to prevent cancer,’ the medical programs are themed around ‘how to cure cancer’ and such things. It is just expected that it looks like these cancers are one and the same.

However, we have over 100 different kinds of cancer. There is almost a cancer for all the body parts – both internally and externally. Anywhere cells are present; such a location in the body runs the risk of its own kind of cancer

Cancer Treatments are Painful

Not only do some think the treatment is painful, others are of the opinion that the treatment is also pointless. This is not so. It might have been true some thirty years ago, when science was yet to reach this level, but now, its advancement has done a lot to help us.

Some people even think the treatments are pointless. Considering the fact that about 90% of children who had leukemia then died from their diseases, and 80% of them now survive, I wouldn’t say so.

Looking through this list, there is a possibility that you also find one or more of the misconceptions you have been having on cancer in there. This list was not made in a bid to shame the ideas or mindset of anyone. Rather, it is geared towards properly educating the audience on the topic of cancer, one truth at a time. If you feel we have missed one common misconception, the tenth slot on this list is yours. Let’s get talking in the comments area.

Always Grateful

Filling The Void With Gratitude

For lack of better words the only explanation that I have for missing a few weeks of writing something would be writers block. I am confused and there are often times that I still feel lost. It can be a bit of a skipping record I guess, the high and lows, repeatedly talking about them. I find filling the void with gratitude seems to work for me, at least it is definitely helping.

Answers​

Part of the reason for the block if you will, is the usual lack of answers. When I go to write something, I do believe that my opinions or ideas suggestions are right, or correct, or will benefit you in some way. I guess it’s because I am a man and because I do want to help, that want to help is genuine. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.

The answers that I am talking about are for some rough statements I hear from time to time.

“How do you do it?”, or “I can’t imagine!”

Quite simply, you do it the same way that you do absolutely everything else in life, it just happens. You keep breathing, nothing else stops. The world continue to turn.

You don’t want to imagine, it is not something anybody ever aspires to in most cases. And although we may say mean things in anger, nobody really wants anything bad to happen to the family.

Challenges

I don’t want to say anything that would seemingly lighten the fact that I lost my wife, however, it is a challenge that I have had to overcome in the same way that other people face challenges that have drastic impacts on there own lives.

Challenges

You never think about them because we don’t get up every day and think about a bunch of bad things happening. If you do get up every day and just think of a bunch bad things happening, I would kindly suggest you try doing that differently. This is where the strength comes from, the very strength that is within all of us. Every single one of us has the power to overcome the things that happen to us.

Gratitude

When I talk about the different ways to love yourself, being grateful is on the top of the list. I am starting to understand why. I think you will always here a grateful person say something like,

” Well, It could of been worse, I am just thankful for this and this.”

For whatever the situation may be. Nicky would be just like that. Now sometimes the shoes is on the other foot and Nicky would day dream a little. Saying that she wished she had this or that, but we are allowed a little bit of self-indulgence in life. Where would we be without, it soothes us.

Positive Energy

I am trying to live in the now. Think Good Thoughts. I believe Nicky was living in the now. I don’t think she would care about the relation that I am making to how to live everyday life, but she was the shining example.

Even while being diagnosed and going through the physical changes, her demeanor did not change. There was no dip in her genuine approach to living her life. Creating a positive energy for the people around her.

The void will never go away for me, no different then the void or challenge in other people’s lives will go away. I don’t quite understand the saying, time heals all wounds. I don’t know if this is something that ever heals.

Living in the now and thinking good thoughts is for lack of better words a science. Based on laws of the universe and I think that is why I find comfort and put faith in the notions.

You can’t feel bad, or angry, or sad when you are thinking good thoughts. It’s not even possible.

Yes it is easier said then done, tell me something in life that isn’t.

There is comfort though in learning how to let the void just sit there in my head and be there. Like so many other different things that I have thoughts about, but will never actually figure out. Mysteries of the mind, as Jim Rohn calls them.

I am starting to understand this, and take comfort in it. This is what made Nicky happy. And it makes me happy to think about it, instead of dwelling on the void.

Because we just keep breathing, our lives just keep going, letting the void sit is the way forward. The void can be whatever challenge you have in your life. Whatever situation that is holding you back, emotionally.

The Future

Getting lost in the memory of Nicky has been holding me back for the last little while, over the holidays. There is a little bit of everything hitting me at different times. The denial, remorse, anger and frustration.

It is for me a cycle, and sometimes when it is bringing me down the most, I don’t want to try and make it feel better. I want to pretend for a little while that I can deny it all enough to bring her back and make it not real anymore.

This is where I do have to turn on the Thinking Good Thoughts, living in the now. It pulls me right into the present. It also alleviates all of the stress and anxieties that I have. It doesn’t make them go away or solve anything instantly, however remember, it’s a law. You can’t be stressed and happy at the same time! Impossible to feel both emotions.

Easier said then done depending on where or what, but stopping and just taking a breath to pull yourself into the present can clear your mind enough to take away the fog and help you think clearly.

When I find myself spinning in that void of missing NIcky, I try to instantly think of her smiing and telling me to Think Good Thoughts. I begin remembering what I cannot change and suddenly the gratitude kicks in…and then I suddenly want to do better again.

The Present!

Here we are. Good health, looking for a reason to remember the positive in life. We all have different challenges and see life differently. I want to be able to move forward and it means taking all of my own advice, all of Nicky’s advice.

Pretending I can change anything is being naive. I am human and there are certain things, scientifically I have to accept on how the brain works and what grief and mourning does to a person. The same way I believe positive thinking is the answer. It leads to love.

So try and fill your void, your challenge with gratitude. Remembering the positive of your situation no matter how bleak it may seem. Thinking Good Thoughts, knowing love is the answer will help you through.

What’s the worst that can happen? You feel better 😉

Sincere Thanks for Reading. Comments are not just welcomed, they are encouraged!

Thinking Good Thoughts in 2018

Up until now, I think there has been a hint of sadness written with the posts for Justlovenobs.com

Moving forward we want to emphasize the words to heart, Thinking Good Thoughts for 2018. And beyond.

There is absolutely no doubt that losing my spouse was forever life changing. I am a widower and it is not something that I thought I would be able to relate to somebody with.

Nicky and Jared

Losing any loved one is challenging and heart breaking. The stress and the anxieties that come along when facing the battle of a disease or an accident that wasn’t your fault. A diagnosis that doesn’t seem fair, or plain and simple just doesn’t make any sense.

Overcoming these obstacles can be overwhelming at times to say the least. There seems to be a lot of disappointment out there in the world. You feel like your fighting the good fight when the rest of the world seems hell-bent on destruction.

Sometimes it even feels like your own friends and family are against you.

The unfortunate thing is there is always going to be all of that distraction. There is always going to be some corruption out there, some bad that contributes to the chaos that we all call life.

We don’t change it by thinking about it or worrying about it, we change ourselves by Thinking Good Thoughts.

Empowering

It’s not crazy and it’s not impossible so that’s what we are going to do! Love is the answer, and giving and always thinking good thoughts is how you create your love for the world.

I had no idea how pure Nicky’s words were, nor how powerful.

The time to be sad is over. The time to be thinking good thoughts, is now. This is how you will change, your world, from within. Changing the outer world for you, from within yourself.

Let’s think about it the ways Nicky did. I think it will be fun. For you close friends, you can keep me honest here and make sure you chime in on how we would roll with this stuff.

Prosperity.

This means so many things doesn’t it? Good Fortune and wealth? Mix in a little bit of your own good health and happiness.

Then you have the money part about it right. The reality of paying the bills.

Nicky and I were grateful for all the things we had together. We worked hard at our jobs and we accepted the good and bad of our decisions. They were not trade-offs to us. They were agreements that made us happy. This made us prosperous.

Nicky would say, I come by money with ease and I always pay my bills. No, we didn’t save our money like we are always supposed to, but we didn’t look for any handouts either.

For 2018, be proud of the choices you make and live your life by those choices. Do your best at work, whether you are there for the rest of your life or its just a stepping stone for something greater, do it better than anybody else there right now.

Be Prosperous.

Your Health

Listen to your body, and take care of yourself.

There really is not another way of putting it. There is nothing easy about it. There is definitely nothing fair about it sometimes, but you have to take care of your body, your mind, and your soul.

I am still learning, and again I will go with the wise words of Nicky about taking caring of one’s self.

If I need to sleep, I sleep, If I know something is not good for me, than I don’t want to try it. I also know the difference between what I like, and what I don’t like. And that, is up to me!

Having Cancer didn’t change anything about how Nicky lived her life and took care of herself, even in light of being diagnosed. She listened to her body at all times, she listened to the doctors and she did her best to cover all the bases.

There are things you can do, to start changes for your health. Maybe this article strikes something in you that helps you change just one thing. Start somewhere. An apple a day. A walk. I have been going to the gym myself. One change can lead to another.

Nicky had been changing her life for a few years before her cancer. She had been following a doctor mandated diet and lifestyle regiment for herself. It was difficult but she believed in her goals and made them come true.

Be Healthy, and Be Prosperous.

Love is the Answer

When you are grateful for all you have, and you listen to your inner self, you live your life by decision and acceptance. Then you are living your life with love.

I am not trying to be an authority on it, I am still trying to understand it the best that I can too. This is my own way of understanding it, and the wisdom, the power within the word. If this is what Nicky understood or meant, when I feel this myself when I really think good thoughts.

Some term it as living in the now. I don’t know if Nicky would even realize this is what it is all about. Thinking good thoughts, only good thoughts, when ever and where ever you are.

These thoughts ultimately culminate in the creation of love. They are good thoughts. They are manifested and believed upon, they are no more than the goals we all accomplish, every day.

Live your life with these goals. Just as you do your best at work and your best to take care of yourself, share your goals with the world around you. Inspire people and set an example. Do it because you want to fulfill that feeling inside that guides you pay it forward in life. Do it because it will help people. And those people will help other people.

Be True

If you are being true to yourself, and keeping it real, than the rest really does fall into place for you. It has too. It is that unexplainable part of life. Things don’t just happen, Things Happen Just. That is all we have to remember. Things are going to happen one way or the other. Might as well listen to your inner self a little, make the decisions that make the most sense to you and your family and go for it!

Thinking Good Thoughts for 2018.

Those were Nicky’s wishes and they are so simple, and can do such much good.

What are your good thoughts for the coming year? Share them with us!

Nicky’s Giving was Endless

That’s It, That’s All. Those were Nicky’s favourite words, spoken from her father, Martin Stockley. It was kind of like the family motto. Martin was a tough guy, on the outside. On the inside this man taught me more about love and respect because he lived by example. There were tough times for us, that never stopped Martin from reaching into his pocket to send us his last couple of bucks. Whether we wanted him to or not. If I can’t help take care of my own daughter he would say.

In Loving Memory of Martin Stockley.

Nicky, was exactly the same way. Her giving, like that of Martin’s, was not about money though, it was something far greater and I do believe the world needs more of it.

Unconditional love. Nicky lived by example, from her heart. She was genuine about it, she really did have the special strength inside her to only show compassion and courtesy. Even when the world around her continued to take. Despite the heartache, she kept on giving, even through the tears sometimes.

This is so harsh to say, I feel like sometimes I am in a movie that is all about realizing your purpose, having to learn the lessons before you can continue with life. Yes, just like Scrooge. IT may not make sense to everybody out there, however we all have to experience our own strengths and find our own purpose. Some people go through life, never experiencing it. You have to be open to growing. You have to be willing to give.

I feel like sometimes I took Nicky for granted, in fact I know I did. Not all the time. In relationships, I believe we do tend to take each other for granted. Honestly, if there is no true love connecting the people together, the relationship will not last. I don’t think it’s possible, you have to be happy.

We were together for 18 years because, despite taking each other for granted sometimes, we always found a way to grow and get passed it. I can never deny though, Nicky always said,

I Love You More!

And that she did. No matter how angry I made her, no matter how big or small a fight might be, she could not stop thinking about me and being considerate.

In return, I tried to give Nicky everything she ever wanted. Not money, Not material things. Life experiences. Our house.  You might say, that is material and that is about money. I have to tell you that you don’t understand then.

From the moment I met Nicky she made me smile. Her love towards me and towards the world inspired me. She wanted to have things yes, but not because she was greedy. Nicky wanted to feel alive and be happy. That was her only purpose, and through her happines she wanted anybody around her to be happy, too.

I would buy Nicky flowers all the time, especially when I was in the Dog House, cause sometimes, I was a jerk.

I promise though, there were more times when I know she just needed to smile, cause the takers in life were just doing the taking. And sometimes when she felt like she didn’t have anymore to give, I knew I had to step it up and let her feel that same unconditional love she so unselfishly showed all the time.

Every now and then, I got to make the world stop, and watch the faces of people in the crowd, see the flowers. Give her the attention of her co-workers and just interrupt the flow a little, make that spotlight aim, just on her. I got no better satisfaction then to answer, just because when people would ask what the occasion was.

I know love is the answer. I know we all need to remind ourselves to stop, and be grateful sometimes.

Even in passing, at peace because she was pure of heart, Nicky was gracious and continued to show compassion and strength for others.

Nicky only knew how to give, she just didn’t know how to take.

It is my turn now. To give, and give even more.

I am still here, and had I not been with this incredible, powerful woman, I would not be blessed with the gift of finding my soulmate and  receiving unconditional love, until death do us part.

Thinking Good Thoughts.

Love is The Answer. Just Love, No Bullshit.

Get To Know Nicky

Hi, I would like you to meet my wife Nicky Bosch. She passed away on May 27 2017 after being diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma cancer just 5 months earlier. It does not get any easier to write about it, much less think about it everyday.

However, that is not the purpose here, to dwell on yesterday. Quite the opposite in fact. There is an insane notion that to move on from any life changing event, no matter how horrendous, you have to find the positive, you have to find something in it to make you grow stronger. Because yes, indeed, if it doesn’t kill you it does make you stronger.

I am here to tell anybody who will listen all about what Nicky Bosch stood for. And I do not mean once or twice or something she just tried out for a while. I mean how she lived her entire life, her outlook and the impression she made with every person she has ever met.

I am so blessed that I was able to spend 18 of the most incredible years of my life with this extraordinary woman. Some days it still feels like it was only yesterday. And some days it feels like I have to get going because there is just so much to share about just how genuine she really was. So, let’s talk a little about Nicky.

I will start by explaining the 420, the leaf that marks this site. If you know Nicky, you know she loved her 420, and I am not here to debate that with anybody. We all have our opinions and our beliefs. I ultimately respect everyone out there for how they decide to live and the choices they make. Even if I don’t agree with you, as long as you don’t express harm or disrespect me for my own choices, I will always be a champion for our rights of freedom.

Now having said that, Nicky worked hard at everything she did. She did not believe in just doing something a little bit, or kind of right. That is not BS either, that is the bottomline. At the end of the day, when Nicky wanted to chill out and just let go, she enjoyed rolling up a joint and being high. She wasn’t hurting anybody, in fact, she just shared the love even more.

What would Nicky say if you asked about her.

Saggitarious and damn proud of it. She embodied a lot of the characteristics of the sign and lived her entire life with a pay it forward attitude.

This is the result of searching traits of Sagittarious on Google.

Wild, you better believe Nicky was wild. She always leaped before she looked and to be honest, we were a little different about that notion. In her passing I have learned, I have missed out a little bit. Life is about jumping, we can look all we want, we may never see the bottom but we have to believe we will land safely.

Fiesty, with a Capital F. If you knew Nicky, you know she was all about being feisty. She always fought the good fight.

Independent and exciting.  The wild child of the zodiac, again, I couldn’t agree more. Nicky made sure we had some fun in our life. We were fortunate to travel the world a little bit before she passed. There is much joy in those memories and when I think back, I am so grateful we took all those trips.

Adventurous, fun loving, sociable and friendly.  These may seem like just words, just descriptions, but they do actually fit Nicky perfectly because she was all of those things all the time. I won’t ever be able to back down from any of these characteristics. Nicky was not only determined to live life to the fullest, she did with everything she experienced. I don’t think she knew any other way because not even the cancer stopped her. Not in spirit. Not with what was still within her control.

What would be next about this extraordinary lady?

The Crazy Cat Lady and damn proud of it! We have had a couple dogs that I will never forget but when we had to move years ago and more dogs were not possible, Nicky wanted a couple of cats. Her love for our pets was expressed through our Facebook page, Nacho & Chip. This is where I continue to share the fun and the love these animals bring. So blessed to be taking care of them. Nicky loved our cats so much, I can tell you they act like dogs. They follow me, everywhere. Not more then a couple days ever go by without each of them rubbing up against me to make sure we are all good. And when I cry, I know they are there, and they understand.

Marilyn Monroe was one of Nicky’s idols. Those of you who knew Nicky, knew that she was beautiful inside and out, however she was always humble. Always. She battled her own self esteem in a world that is so mixed up about what real beauty is. She loved Marilyn because she was actually the same size as the sex symbol, and wanted to find that kind of confidence in herself.

The amazing part of that though, is the fact that she would not hesitant to champion her friends for their own cause. Always putting them and their struggle ahead of her own. I have to use the word always, because Nicky was not a part time anything. Nicky Always Practiced What She Preached and She Always Helped Her Friends.

Unconditional Love, Just Love, No Bullshit. That was Nicky Bosch, my wife, my Queen. Nicky treated me like a KING. Period. EVERYDAY. Period. Her love for me was undaunting and in her death I have many regrets for sometimes taking that unconditional love and loyalty for granted sometimes.

Nicky believed in the power of the universe, Not God as some people may call their own faith. Again I am not here to debate. It is a challenge everyday for me to find courage and strength to continue my life and feel my true purpose.

I believe that love suffers in our world today but it still is and always will be the answer.
I believe that relationships suffer in our world today because men and woman alike have lost focus on what it means to love somebody.
I believe that there is power in setting an example and Nicky had that power and set that example.
I believe that my purpose here, is to take everything that woman gave to me and return it to this earth in a message of power and hope.

Nicky’s perspective before she passed was a simple one, if one can even take such levity in her situation, but she did. She had accepted the cancer and she was at peace that it was her time. She was saddened by this, she didn’t want to die.

She asked that I, and her friends, Think Good Thoughts. That was it. There was nothing else, nothing more powerful then those words to carry us.

They carried her to the end. I and will carry them, and share her message, as long as I still have the chance.

Finding my exact purpose and surviving my wife’s death has been a struggle, as there are many people suffering from unfortunate situations.

Finding the positives, my passions and purpose without her has been difficult. There is one truth, and at the end of the day, it was why we were together so long. There was love. It is and always will be the answer.

Just Love, No BS.

Expressing My Gratitude

That is where I have to start this journey. I can tell you that I am in a very different place. I can only think of very challenging times in my life where I have over come struggles before, that I have felt this way before. I want to say Thank You because I am feeling gratitude for being here, that I have the chance to make changes.

Dealing With Pain

There is nothing easy about losing your spouse. It is something that I wish I could not ever relate to any person about. Facing the world since my wife has passed has not been an easy process. I don’t even like to think all the way back to the first time Nicky said I have to accept the fact she has cancer. When she passed away, I think I decided I was going to stay numb. That I was going to pretend that I could just keep going and never face the truth about what has happened. There are a couple of options that come along with what has happened to me. I am not really interested in going back and wondering if we deserved this or not. It serves me no purpose to think back and regret the lifestyle we choose or how we made each other happy.

I Am Still Here

And that is why I am grateful, and that is why I have to keep going and do what I am doing. I believe in the feelings that I have and the thoughts and aspirations I try and visualize. I won’t deny these feelings anymore now that I am accepting what has happened to me.

Look Deep Within

We all have to listen to our hearts, listen to our guts, listen to our brains. We all have to listen to our bodies and decide how we are going to move forward. Chase our dreams and grow? Listen to the instincts like make you successful and try to challenge the ones that bring you down? When my wife was alive, I worked a lot. Too much when I think about it. I don’t regret it because that will slow me down. What I am doing is making sure that what I call work now, is work. I need to get things done and I need to do what is right. That means telling Nicky’s story and creating awareness for a whole bunch of different things.

Accept My Reality

Since my wife passed away, I have been dealing with the denial I was living in. Grief Does Strange Things To A Person. Thanks Mom for the reminder. When Nicky passed away, She was at peace with death. To this day, that still makes me wonder. I believe I am searching for that inner peace. So, I need to say thank you, because I don’t think I have thought about it until now.

Pay it Forward

​There is really no end to the list of people I want to thank. The friends and family that are closest to me. The support network that stretches out beyond borders because of the internet and all its connections. All of the doctors and nurses, paramedics and all of the hospital staff. From every department, when you have to live in the hospital you run into everybody doing their job. Nicky never ever wanted to be a burden to anybody however her comfort was the most important thing. Thank you again to everyone from the nutritionist to the janitors who kept her room clean. Thank you to the Alberta Cancer Foundation. When Nicky was first diagnosed and the medications were needed, they covered all of the expenses we couldn’t manage for ourselves. Thank you to our respective employers. Although I am not mentioning you here, know in our hearts, Nicky was, and I will always be extremely grateful for the tremendous support you extended. All of this was done for the comfort of my wife and I would not have been able to take care of her, as we did, without all of you.