Filling The Void With Gratitude
For lack of better words the only explanation that I have for missing a few weeks of writing something would be writers block. I am confused and there are often times that I still feel lost. It can be a bit of a skipping record I guess, the high and lows, repeatedly talking about them. I find filling the void with gratitude seems to work for me, at least it is definitely helping.
Part of the reason for the block if you will, is the usual lack of answers. When I go to write something, I do believe that my opinions or ideas suggestions are right, or correct, or will benefit you in some way. I guess it’s because I am a man and because I do want to help, that want to help is genuine. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.
The answers that I am talking about are for some rough statements I hear from time to time.
“How do you do it?”, or “I can’t imagine!”
Quite simply, you do it the same way that you do absolutely everything else in life, it just happens. You keep breathing, nothing else stops. The world continue to turn.
You don’t want to imagine, it is not something anybody ever aspires to in most cases. And although we may say mean things in anger, nobody really wants anything bad to happen to the family.
I don’t want to say anything that would seemingly lighten the fact that I lost my wife, however, it is a challenge that I have had to overcome in the same way that other people face challenges that have drastic impacts on there own lives.
You never think about them because we don’t get up every day and think about a bunch of bad things happening. If you do get up every day and just think of a bunch bad things happening, I would kindly suggest you try doing that differently. This is where the strength comes from, the very strength that is within all of us. Every single one of us has the power to overcome the things that happen to us.
When I talk about the different ways to love yourself, being grateful is on the top of the list. I am starting to understand why. I think you will always here a grateful person say something like,
” Well, It could of been worse, I am just thankful for this and this.”
For whatever the situation may be. Nicky would be just like that. Now sometimes the shoes is on the other foot and Nicky would day dream a little. Saying that she wished she had this or that, but we are allowed a little bit of self-indulgence in life. Where would we be without, it soothes us.
I am trying to live in the now. Think Good Thoughts. I believe Nicky was living in the now. I don’t think she would care about the relation that I am making to how to live everyday life, but she was the shining example.
Even while being diagnosed and going through the physical changes, her demeanor did not change. There was no dip in her genuine approach to living her life. Creating a positive energy for the people around her.
The void will never go away for me, no different then the void or challenge in other people’s lives will go away. I don’t quite understand the saying, time heals all wounds. I don’t know if this is something that ever heals.
Living in the now and thinking good thoughts is for lack of better words a science. Based on laws of the universe and I think that is why I find comfort and put faith in the notions.
You can’t feel bad, or angry, or sad when you are thinking good thoughts. It’s not even possible.
Yes it is easier said then done, tell me something in life that isn’t.
There is comfort though in learning how to let the void just sit there in my head and be there. Like so many other different things that I have thoughts about, but will never actually figure out. Mysteries of the mind, as Jim Rohn calls them.
I am starting to understand this, and take comfort in it. This is what made Nicky happy. And it makes me happy to think about it, instead of dwelling on the void.
Because we just keep breathing, our lives just keep going, letting the void sit is the way forward. The void can be whatever challenge you have in your life. Whatever situation that is holding you back, emotionally.
Getting lost in the memory of Nicky has been holding me back for the last little while, over the holidays. There is a little bit of everything hitting me at different times. The denial, remorse, anger and frustration.
It is for me a cycle, and sometimes when it is bringing me down the most, I don’t want to try and make it feel better. I want to pretend for a little while that I can deny it all enough to bring her back and make it not real anymore.
This is where I do have to turn on the Thinking Good Thoughts, living in the now. It pulls me right into the present. It also alleviates all of the stress and anxieties that I have. It doesn’t make them go away or solve anything instantly, however remember, it’s a law. You can’t be stressed and happy at the same time! Impossible to feel both emotions.
Easier said then done depending on where or what, but stopping and just taking a breath to pull yourself into the present can clear your mind enough to take away the fog and help you think clearly.
When I find myself spinning in that void of missing NIcky, I try to instantly think of her smiing and telling me to Think Good Thoughts. I begin remembering what I cannot change and suddenly the gratitude kicks in…and then I suddenly want to do better again.
Here we are. Good health, looking for a reason to remember the positive in life. We all have different challenges and see life differently. I want to be able to move forward and it means taking all of my own advice, all of Nicky’s advice.
Pretending I can change anything is being naive. I am human and there are certain things, scientifically I have to accept on how the brain works and what grief and mourning does to a person. The same way I believe positive thinking is the answer. It leads to love.
So try and fill your void, your challenge with gratitude. Remembering the positive of your situation no matter how bleak it may seem. Thinking Good Thoughts, knowing love is the answer will help you through.
What’s the worst that can happen? You feel better 😉
Sincere Thanks for Reading. Comments are not just welcomed, they are encouraged!